5 Reasons Why My Life is Better Because of WFH

Photo by Charlie Marusiak on Unsplash

When I first started this job as a Software Tester, I knew there was going to be one thing that was going to be difficult. Not the job, not the adaptation back to the workforce after being a stay at home dad but … the commute. Living in a small college town in Kansas where the only “traffic” was more than 5 cars behind a red light and you can flawlessly get from one place to another in 10–15 minutes, yeah … that was a long commute back and forth. But I did it anyways because I wanted to improve our quality of life as a family.

See, I moved from Indonesia to Lawrence, Kansas after selling my gym business for only the depreciated cost of the equipments that we purchased full price. It was not a “great” deal, but it was a “good enough” deal for me to leave the business so we can return back to America. This Software Tester job was the same exact job that I left 7 years ago to start enterpreneurship. The enterpreneurship experience was priceless, but now it’s time for me to have a structured workday with a steady paycheck that allowed my family to have a home, pay off our car and put my kids to school.

Two years past and almost every other week, I would try to figure out how I could at least be able to work from home (WFH) once a week. I’ve asked from employees with a remote work arrangement how they did it and most weeks, I try to figured out a smart way to convince my boss that I would be far more productive working from home.

Then COVID-19 happened. And we were all REQUIRED to work from home.

It was an abrupt surprise, something in a way that felt like I was pushed into a lake (and I can’t swim), while my life jacket was a feet away. I didn’t only get to work from home, but all of my family get to do the same too. Uh oh, this was not quite the way I pictured working from home once a week.

As a father, of two children, my wife and I have this “parenting ensemble” that goes like this:

• I take care of the little one so the older one can do virtual schooling
• Put both kids in the shower so we can take a break
• Can you take a look at the kids so I can go get some groceries?
• Exercise, meditate, have breakfast, take a walk before the kids wake up

I’m sure this split roles is not a great invention to any other parent with more than 1 child. Most of what we do circles around our capacity to be able to pair each parent with a child so that they don’t bother each other when one needs to do one thing (school, or eat) and put them together on things they like to do together so we can take a break.

Welcome to parenting two kids with 7 years apart.

As of today, I have been working from home for 6 months straight and a lot of improvements has been done in our household space and in the routines of our children and the family as a whole. I redecorated the guest bedroom in the basement into an actual office / gym, we have a dedicated play area for the kids and my son is now back in school.

Here’s 5 Things that have worked for me while working from home:

1. Morning meditation works. However your form of meditation looks like, breathing exercises, or prayer, taking a moment of silence in the beginning of the day really sets the tone for the rest of the day. It does take some effort though to make the time. Wake up at least 20 minutes before everyone else, is what works for me. It was hard in the first few days, but then you will wake up automatically for it.
2. Taking a walk is the best exercise. I often expect too much out of myself when it comes to exercise. I want to do CrossFit, lift weights, or go to the gym. But because of the pandemic, we are forced to do things differently. But even without the pandemic, I have realized that the best exercise is the one that provides you with well being. Taking a walk outside to get some fresh air, exposure to sun (if the clouds permit), is the best exercise you can get.
3. 9–5 is still the sweet spot. Allocating time to work from 9–5 is still the best structure for me. Yes I’ve tried logging in earlier or leaving later (or both!) but at the end of the day, I sacrifice too much of my own time for other important things by doing that. I still would rather, meditate, exercise and shower before 9am and log off at 5pm regardless of the leftover work so I can join my family upstairs.
4. Picking up my son in the afternoon is the best break a dad can get. I make it a point to pick up my son from school even though it may happen in the middle of the work day. Getting out of my home office for a drive to pick up my son is the best break I can get out of the busy-ness inthe office. Eventually, the work sort of parts out by itself. At around 3pm, work subsides and I get to get ready to pick up my son. It’s funny how things work out. And when it doesn’t, I get to tell my team that I need to take 10–20 minutes out to pick up my son. I return to work with fresh eyes and a clear mind.
5. Cooking (not microwave-ing) my food. Different than having to meal prep for 5 days and then heating up my food in the office microwave at 12pm every day, I actually get to cook my food and eat it for lunch. I’m not sure how offices would ever be able to adopt this when we return to office, but I find this opportunity to be beneficial not only for my health but also for my well being. Of course in the beginning it was a hassle, to spend time to cook within the hour, but after some time management and setting aside leftover to be re-utilized as a new meal, it has become a true blessing.

In summary, it was definitely a surprise to transform my in-person work situation to remote, including the commute. But I would say that it took me about 4 months to actually get into where I am today. I am proud to say that as of today, I am able to sleep 7 hours each night, take my son to school, meditate, exercise, work 9–5 with cooking lunch and picking up my son in between before joining the family and having dinner together in the evening.

My life has been full. Not only full of work, but full of life and interactions with people that are important to me.

I definitely miss my co-workers, the friends that I have developed a connection at work and the people we used to hang out in downtown. But we believe that we are staying at home because we want to reduce the spread of COVID-19, create more time for researchers and scientists for a vaccine and because staying at home teaches us something really important:

Staying at home teaches us to adapt through imperfection.

Nothing that we do at home is perfect and none of our routine is followed to the dot. Our living room is still a mess and we still buy fast food when we don’t have time to cook. But we have embraced this as our new lifestyle, and every day we adapt to it and course correct to find a better way we can do things. By embracing the imperfections in our days and adapting to them by trying out new routines, we have by itself tried something new every day. Doing this reduces the boredom and gets us “unstuck” in our routine. And we are grateful every day for it.

As Marie Forleo puts it,

“The grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it.”

What are you doing at home to better the people and the things you do in it?