How to Become Brave According to My 9 Year Old

On the weekend of June 3rd of this year, my son Alex lost his mojo. His mojo was jumping on his bed, running around the living room, eating bowls of spaghetti, pizza and chicken teriyaki. Instead, all he wanted to do was sleep under the blanket in his room. We started realizing he was sick when he would run to the bathroom to throw up sometimes almost 5–7 times in a day. This was a sad day for us parents to see. Our son who was consistently active, now struggling just to sleep because it would be interrupted with a trip to the toilet bowl.

On the Monday, we decided this was definitely a problem. We took him to the ER, for the first time in Lawrence, KS to figure out what was wrong. It was approximately 7pm on a rainy day and when we were welcomed by the ER with a clipboard to fill out. The ER was so full, we had to wait outside the waiting room. I had his head on my lap as he fell asleep and occassionally he would wake up and throw up on the plastic bag that the receptionist provided for us. We waited some more.

When we finally had a room, he was changed into a gown, put inside a blanket and the nurse came in to ask questions. It was definitely a problem and sure enough it was food poisoning.

Then, the one thing that I was afraid he had to do, become a reality.

The one thing that I was stuck with when I was admitted in the ER for my Rhabdomyolysis, became something my son had to experience at 8 years old.

I.V.

If you have ever seen and I.V, but have never actually gotten one, you may not know how painful it is to get poked in your veins with a needle while keeping your arm straight.

After the doctor told us about the IV, I whispered to my son that he will get an injection on his arm that will give him superfood, something that will get him energy from the one he has lost. And when the doctor pumped the superfood, his arm would suddenly feel cold and it will travel across his body.

He was really afraid but a little curious to experience that. It took much more than that to get him to agree to get it.

But it had to be done. Even though he was afraid of needles.

When the IV insertion process started, I held him on one side and he literally said “Aaargh, I am so going to curse”, and he just kept on screaming. But he didn’t curse. That was the first time I heard my son even said “curse” and I’m pretty sure while he was screaming he actually probably said the S word.

Today, 5 months later, at lunch, he asked me, “Daddy, what are you going to write about today?”, remembering that I write an article every week. I said, “Hmm, I don’t know yet”, literally because I just remembered that I had to write it today. Then he said, “Maybe you can write about how to become brave”. A light bulb turned on in my head and I told him, “You know, maybe I can interview you about how to become brave by telling me how you were able to go through the IV episode at the ER”.

Here’s how that interview went (pardon the background music, we were at a restaurant):

How to become brave by Alex - recording.m4a

In summary, here’s the secret to being brave, according to Alex:

• Acknowledge your fear. Alex says that by allowing himself to cry when he felt the pain (he said that when he cried, he forgot about the pain) it allowed him to forget what was actually happening. As adults, sometimes it is not accepted by society to cry or scream when you are afraid or in pain, but you are allowed to acknowledged your fear by being vulnerable. Tell yourself it is ok to be afraid and tell the person you are with or you are talking to that you are concerned, or afraid of the outcome. By expressing your true feelings, by being vulnerable, you are becoming human and you are allowing the person you talk to to realize that we are all human.
• Tell yourself it’s OK. Alex says to tell yourself that you are the “chosen one”, that you are the bravest, that you won’t give up and that you have courage. Most of the time, when you are afraid, the brain is not telling you these things. It is telling you all the possible things that may go wrong, and preparing you for the worst. Try to ignore these but instead, try to listen to what your heart is saying by encouraging yourself to be brave.
• Just face your fears. Alex says he faced his fears by practicing bravery and thinking of things that makes him happy. Practice makes perfect. There’s no way around it. This is golden. I am proud that my son can say this … because it is the truth. The reason we are not brave or courageous to take action is because we don’t practice it in the small setting. We are afraid to start our own business, pursue our passion, find a new job or join a new community because we are afraid in the little things. We are afraid to say hi to strangers, say no to our toxic friends or boss and say yes to a new opportunity.

Bravery comes from the little things we do every day. Being brave means being out of control. It is not represented by big muscular men doing adventurous feats like what TV and the media depicts. Being brave means doing something different than what you are used to and being ok with getting rejected. And being brave starts with one single step.

It’s usually that thing that gets your hands cold, or heat on the back of your neck, or butterflies in your stomach. You know the signs.

That is the moment you need to take that step.

And see where you end up.

Be Brave.