How To Eliminate Fear and Doubt By Accepting Where You Are
I woke up this morning tossing and turning. It felt like no single position on my bed could put me to ease. I tried my left, my right and then placing the orthopedic pillow with the hump perfectly under my neck but still … I was awoken. I peeked to see what time it was.
4:44.
Just as of the time and the numbers couldn’t get any better. In the Chinese culture, the number 4 is not necessarily good luck. But in numerology, the series number of 4 represents blessings from the angels that I am in the right path towards self discovery and abundance.
Either way, I just wanted to go back to sleep.
It’s funny how your doubts and fears seep into your dreams and into your sleep. Before I went to bed, I watched a calm and comforting episode of “This is Us” and I even completed a 5 minute Sleep meditation from Peloton before I went to bed. I did not worry about the car inspection today that I have been looking forward to. Nor have I been worried about what it will tell me about my 18 year old dream car and whether I could actually take off enough time out of work to get it fixed.
Yeah, that’s what I was worried about. Funny how I didn’t even realized that I was even worried about it.
I understand that there is really nothing to worry about. Whatever is found in my car and however long they have to fix it, I will find a solution. I am prepared financially and mentally for it. But it’s funny how this anticipation is clouded with doubt and worry.
Living in the cloud of the pandemic, there are a lot of things all of us can worry about. We can worry about whether we will be living at home forever in our lives. We can worry about how we can survive financially, how our business can continue for another year, or how we can find a job in the middle of this uncertain times. We can also fear about whether we can do something about it and doubt ourselves that we will get through this. Our brain tells you all this because it wants to protect you.
Your brain loves you. Just like your mind and your heart does.
It’s not easy to see this at a difficult time. But everything about your being is trying to help you prepare you, and remind you, but in the end it is up to you how you want to respond. You can respond with fear and doubt, or you can respond with peace and acceptance.
Peace and acceptance is hard to find at a time like this.
So true. In the midst of division in North America and #stayhome for the pandemic, it is much easier to stay busy and divided. We are alone together, some might say. But it does not mean that we are alone disconnected. We are connected in a certain way that nobody can explain. We are alone in but connected in spirit. This is the only time for a long time when all of us are in this together. All of us have the same fear and doubt when it comes to the pandemic and all of us can respond to it with peace and acceptance … if we let it. But before that, we must do something very important.
We must accept where we are.
We must accept that we are in a place that is unique to ourselves. Some of us may end up on top, and some of us may end up at the bottom. Most of us may end up in the middle, where we get to work from home and be with family.
We will compare. We will compare ourselves with others and we will question why we are where we are.
We will also try. We will try to be more, do more and want more because we can … and because we are human.
But let’s not also forget that we are where we are because of ourselves. We led ourselves to where we are now and where we are now is where we are meant to be.
Accept it, be at peace, and be happy.
Here are a few tips that I use when I am clouded in fear and doubt. May this help you be a ease and accept where you are today.
Say Yes By Saying No.
It’s contradictive and I am not trying to confuse you. Often times, the only way we can say yes to something is to first say no to what is blocking the way. Creating boundaries around what we want in our lives is probably the best strategy to open the abundance of things that you have always wanted. I am eliminating my doubts and fears by saying to it “No, not now”. I understand and acknowledge that you are there in my subconscious mind because you want me to be prepared for the worst but right now, I want to be excited and grateful to know that there are a lot of things I could say yes to first, before worrying about the no’s.
Do Something Else.
Again, seems obvious. But how many times have you tried to do more work, more preparation, more thinking, more “Googling” just to make you feel better about a thing that you are worried about? How did you end up feeling? When I am worried that people will not like the website that I am working on, I tend to work on it some more. I try to move it around, use a different theme, try a different font and colors and poof, 1 hour went by and I missed my window of opportunity to have lunch, get on my bike and take a shower before work. Take a look at history and realize that all these wonderful inventors did not find an answer to their unsolved mystery because they work on it some more. Newton found the law of gravity by sitting under an apple tree and Archimedes found his “Eureka” moment while he was taking a bath. They did not find these wonderful sciences in their workshop while working hard for a solution.
My point is, when you are stuck with a worry, doubt or a problem that you cannot solve, go take a walk in nature, exercise, meditate or watch TV. Distract yourself to do something else and let the answer come to you.
Do Something You Are Afraid Of
In contrast to my previous point, you can also try to do the thing that you have been avoiding to do. If you have been putting off sending that email, or making that call because you are afraid of what he or she will say, then maybe this is the time for you to just go for it. Muster the courage to not worry about what will happen and just focus on what you want to say and how you want to feel when you are expressing your words into that email or that phone call.
Trust that when you express your authentic self, it will always be accepted.
It may or may not be responded the way you expect it, but what’s important is that you have expressed it. Your words, your thoughts and your intentions are the most valuable thing in your life and in your mind. When you focus on positively expressing it, without fear and doubt, it will always return to you for the highest good.
Write.
I confess. I am writing this article right now because I also have doubts and fears about how today is going to go. I have a car inspection that’s planned for a few weeks and as ridiculous as it sounds, I am really nervous of what the mechanic will find. I’ve checked it myself here and there but, I am not a licensed BMW mechanic. I worry that there will be a lot of things to repair, that I have to stay behind longer than I thought and get in trouble with my work. I am worried that I have made the wrong decision on my car and I will lose my job … just from a 1 hour car inspection session. What an extreme outcome over something as simple as a car inspection. Yeah, I am a dramatic writer. But that’s why I am writing it out now in this article to you and ultimately to myself. I am writing this to help me realize how ridiculous of an outcome I am fearing. I am writing this to help me accept that my brain is trying to protect me from this possibility but for my mind to soothe it and tell it that everything will be ok. I am writing this to connect two and two together and to find peace in my heart. And I thank you for reading this.
Breathe.
You may not realize it, but when you are worried about something, you stop breathing. Or you shorten your breath. When you get your shoulders or your back tight you are probably worrying about something a little too long. All of that can be reset just by one simple action.
Take a deep breath and release with a long slow exhale.
Put yourself back where you are … in your body.
Put your mind back where it is … in your heart.
Yes you can take a 10 minute meditation session, or you can do the most basic, fundamental thing that you do every moment of your life … breathe. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that everything that you want have or need is right inside of you. Remind yourself that whatever happens, you have the capacity to take care of it and that you are taken care of by the universe and the people that support you.
I hope that these simple tips that I found useful for myself may be useful for you. In these uncertain times where we experience fear and judgement, the only good place we can be is within ourselves. I hope that by following these tips that you may find where you belong and be happy with where you are.
