My Three Q&A To Setup For A Great Year Ahead (2021 Reflection)

I have started commuting to work … again.

It’s not the best thing to do for me. I’d rather not be sitting in a car for 40 minutes as my hip tightens, looking at a two straight lines in K-10. If you live in Kansas, you know what I mean.

It’s boring. Even if your car drives for you.

But there’s one thing that still gets me involved in my drive, time and again: podcasts.

One of my favorite people to listen to during my ride to work is, Marie Forleo. She promotes “multi-passionate entrepreneurs” and have a book called “Everything is Figureoutable” and continues to project positive encouragement through easy to apply methods, positive affirmation, productivity strategies in a fun and funny delivery.

I love her and I am grateful that she continues to do what she loves (and very good at!)

One of the episodes that I heard most recently talks about reflecting the past year. There are 3 things (we like the threes!) that we need to ask ourselves as we approach the end of the new year:

• What’s one thing you did that you’re proud of?
• What’s one mistake you made and the lesson you learned?
• What’s one limiting story you’re ready to let go of before the New Year?

You can see her original post about this here: 3 POWERFUL YEAR IN REVIEW QUESTIONS THAT WILL SET YOU UP FOR A GREAT YEAR AHEAD

Now since we are on Medium and it is still the best place to share personal stories where we can connect with others, I am going to reflect on these questions here! I highly encourage you to do the same in the comment box below (I want to see yours!) or you can create your own post.

The One Thing I Did That I Am Proud Of …

This year felt like a 3 in 1. I felt like I went through 3 important events that both changed and devastated my life all in 1 year. It felt like I have gone through multiple years because of it. It has definitely been a roller coaster ride. Here’s pretty much how it went:

• I got my dream car (up)
• I celebrated my 40th birthday (up)
• I lost my job (down)
• I lost my job … again (freefall)
• I visited family in California (up)
• I started a new job (up)

For real.

Fortunately, I had the support and encouragement from my family whichever direction I was going. I am grateful for that every day.

But if I had one thing that I needed to choose that I am proud of, I’d be proud of my visit to California to see my 96 year old grandma.

Here’s why:

• It’s not easy (for me) to make a decision to spend time and money to go out of state (semi-vacation) right after losing your job. I didn’t just “lose” my job, I was terminated. I felt defeated, betrayed and undeserving. But I also realized that there was no better time to go because God didn’t fire me from my job, he gave me the opportunity, the space between jobs to tend to my grandma who misses me as she is immobile in her bed.
• The trip to CA gave me a fresh start. The first thing that I wanted to do when I lost my job was to get another one. This is why my mind has been trained, to get back up as soon as I am down. The thing is, you don’t always have to get back up fighting. You can get back up standing and walking before you run to the next best thing. I learned that it was important for me to be kind to myself when something difficult just happened to me. Take time to be sad and angry, just don’t judge yourself for it, accept it and enjoy the moment you have.

The One Mistake I Made and What I Learned

The one mistake I made that I am still trying to work out is trying to impress, prove or please other people. Especially for the people I work for. The exertion that I put out, in time and effort just to impress my manager and prove my worth have caused my own grief of losing my job. The termination of my work was my revelation that work can be done differently. And the only person that can change that is … me.

As I start a new job in a new company that advocates mental health and wellness, I realize that it is not the work culture that I am looking for, but it is the change in me. No company in the world will have the best work culture for you unless if you align yourself to the work culture itself. I realized that in order for me to enjoy the work that I do in the company that I work for, I need to re-align myself with their work culture.

If I moved from a company with a demanding workload to another company with a dynamic workload, then I need to adjust my time and effort in my work to align with that workload. I need not to prove myself that I can do more work than others. I need to be kind to myself and let myself adjust. Sometimes it is to adjust the volume up, and sometimes it is to adjust the volume down.

Work is only going to be as good as you make it to be.

You don’t need to prove your work to yourself, your manager or to your peers. You only need to do the work to the best of your ability using the skills and experience that you currently have. At a new company, that may mean less than zero. It’s ok to come in not knowing, to ask questions and to move slowly.

The One Limiting Story That I Am Ready To Let Go Before The New year

I am undeserving of success and riches.

I have this story in my mind that I am undeserving of success because I failed my self and my family when I failed my business. I felt that I do not deserve happiness, nice things, money, fame and connections because I am afraid that when I do, I will be tempted to make a mistake and free fall into loneliness … again.

This story is real and truly happened … at least in my mind. I’m sure in real life it is actually not as dramatic, but often times, this is the story I tell myself.

I’m afraid to buy something nice for myself, or get the car that I want because on the back of my mind, I fear that something will happen that will prove me wrong for making that worldly decision.

I want to let this go because:

• I have proven to myself that even though shit happens (and it has this year), I was able to pick myself up, on my own and with the support of others and end up winning.
• As long as I make a decision that is authentically for myself, ain’t nobody can make me feel bad about it. And when it is me who makes me feel bad about it, I will take a deep breath and let it pass.
• My business may have failed but many lives have been changed while it was thriving and many lives are still changing because of it. I don’t need to start a new legacy to prove to myself that I did what was right. All I need to do is to look around my friends, my business partner, my trainers and coaches to see how much they are doing to change the world. I don’t need a successful business to remind me of the things that I have contributed to the health and fitness in Indonesia. I just need to remember the part when I did and let go of the ones that did not. It’s ok to accept and let it flow.

As I approach the end of the year, I am here journaling to remind myself and to remind you, that life has brought us many opportunities. Some we have taken and run with, some we have passed. It is not our job to judge the outcome, it is our right to choose. God wants us to live and he doesn’t judge the path we choose, he just wants us to be happy. And I want to be happy. And happiness can be found in life, in living life and in enjoying everything that comes with it.

Happy New Year to you for reading my last post of 2021. I know I have not been the most consistent writer and I don’t know if you are reading this. But if you are, please give me a clap. It helps to know that I am able to share with you my story and hopefully help you in your life story.