Our Lives Are Just One Episode After Another

The first episode of my life that I could remember would probably my first heartbreak. I didn’t actually had a girlfriend until I was in college and this girl that I was with broke up with me because her parents didn’t approve of the reputation that my parents had. They made those conclusion even before they met me and before they met my parents.

Perception. It can truly be a double edge sword.

I ended that episode with the decision that breaking up was hard to do and it required time. And rewiring of your brain. I rewired mine by going back to all of the places I went with her and recreating new experiences and new memories. I read all that from a book called “Breaking Up”.

Another episode in my life was when I was influenced by the book “Rich Dad Poor Dad”. I went down the rabbit hole of real estate investment during the real estate bubble. Everyone was flipping houses and interest rates were really low. Since I was dating my 2nd girlfriend from Lawrence (now my wife), I decided to purchase a rental property in Lawrence,KS. And yes, I was single, making money at a corporate finance company and literally just had a lot of disposable income without having the understanding of retirement.

That also ended with bad break up between my property manager and eventually the property as well because a tenant left and we could not get the unit filled.

Intention. It’s such an important thing when you make any kind of purchase. Large or small.

The most exciting and dramatic episode of my life would probably be when I decided to leave America to return to Indonesia to introduce CrossFit to my home country. The intention was to transform the healthy lifestyle of Indonesian people through the CrossFit movement and exercises. It was a big intention which started in a small garage. The idea exploded and received tremendous response and results. Resulting in something that almost got me “famous”. I was covered by media channels across Jakarta and businesses wanted to partner with me.

But on the home front, everything was crumbling down. My relationship with my wife and my kids changed. I felt the need to be respected and followed not just at the gym or by the media but also at home. I stopped listening to what my wife needed and started believing that what she needed was ridiculous.

Humility. The moment you believe that you are above any other human being that is just like you, is the moment you lose yourself.

The most recent episode that I lived through, and probably the most I am proud of is the time when I didn’t have anything. It’s the time when I left Indonesia, my business, my friends, my family and my country to find myself within my family. I moved to a new city, Lawrence, Kansas to live at a new home with my in laws. Double whammy. Maximum adaptation required. I meditated every day, wrote in my journal, took lots of walks and read lots of books. Just to keep me sane and grounded with the belief that I am where I need to be right now. A few years later, I lost my job and I decided to become a stay at home dad while my wife worked full time.

One may categorize this as the lowest point of my life. But actually, it was the highest. The moment when I let go of what I thought a man needs to be: family provider, money maker and leader of the pack is when I learned the most about my self.

Being a man is not to be all that is expected of others, being a man is to be your self.

As you can see, my life consists of many episodes. In each episode, I play a different role. There are parts where I play the victim, there are parts where I play the hero, and there are parts where I play a villain. Most importantly is, your awareness of the role that you play.

Looking back, I can tell you that there are many situations where I clearly know that I play the victim, because I am telling everyone I know that I am suffering and it is someone else’s fault. There are also episodes where I play the villain, where I would purposely try to hurt others, or myself because I want to be pitied for the issues that I have. And I can tell you that in that moment, I absolutely did not realize or have awareness of the role I was playing.

I only realize the role that I played when I decided to change my mind.

The moment you realize that there is a better way, a more positive direction, a better role that you can play in your life is when you step into a different role in a different episode.

The episode you are in is so valuable. It’s so valuable that it will change everything about how you perceive others and yourself. When you are playing the role of a victim or a villain, remember that you can move OUT of that episode and move into a better one.

You are the director, actor and producer.

Transform your mindset and realize that you deserve to live in an episode of compassion, a space of courage and a space of connection. An episode where you are loved, where you have the freedom to be who you want to be without any judgement and the space where you can make new connections without any fear of rejection.

This episode exists.

And it exists in your mind.

All you have to do is … create it.