The Power of Now is the Power in You

The MC put us to separate round tables, luckily with people that I have already worked with and another guy whom I’ve heard about, but have never met. I am grateful that I am comfortable meeting new people as it would have been scary. Then, the MC announced that they will start with a solo dance. I saw my production support manager, with a knee brace hanging around in the center of the function hall near the MC. “It couldn’t be her that will be dancing”, I thought to myself as I am clueless as to what the agenda of this event will be.

And sure enough, the music starts and she started dancing over a traditional Indian music in the background. She was moving her arms with her index and thumb interlaced, forming different shapes that simulated the story behind the dance. She did all this while creating different facial expressions that I would typically see in the Hindu statues in Bali.

I tried to focus on this individual, who usually leads our weekly team meetings, have conversations with me in the coffee break about her coffee ritual and how she used to work in Malaysia and scared out of her own safety at the place she works. She was always the one that felt a little worried about how everyone felt about the event, you know, that someone who wants to make sure everyone is comfortable. And now here she is performing with courage and such movement, .. and I was feeling uncomfortable.

I have seen many kind of traditional dances. Living in Indonesia where it consists of an archipelago of islands, every island had its traditional dances. While we were in school, we had tests to make sure we memorized the names of each dance from each place. I am not uncomfortable at seeing a stranger perform a traditional dance on a stage big or small. But seeing this person, that I know as a different personality, perform this dance in front of almost 80 people, in such comfort, without distraction, made me feel shy.

I tried to focus on the dance, and the fingers, and the steps she made, the music but as soon as I saw her face, doing it, I felt shy. As if I was doing the dance and how it would feel if I had to do the dance.

I approached her after her dance, gave her a high five and told her that she did great. And she of course asked, “Did you like it? Do you think I did okay?”. I told her that I think the fact that she had the courage to go in front of everyone to perform a dance on her own, was impressive by itself. I am not sure if I could do the same. She smiled cheek to cheek. Then I found out there were two other people that was going to dance. So I approached each one and asked them how they felt.

One told me that it was going to be her first solo performance, ever. She would usually performed with a group, but today will be on her own. And she told me that she was nervous. And this friend of mine was probably the most confident woman I’ve known at the project. She’s the one that referred me to the Toastmasters club (story about this coming up later). I asked her why she is doing it. She said she wants to “push herself” and see if she can do it. She did great.

The last performance, was by the newest, shyest woman I know in the project. In which soon will be my own team lead. She has a small stature, never outspoke her self in the team and have never complained even though she is working almost day and night, with a 1 hour commute (by bus!) to work. Her performance was even more animated than everyone else. I saw her from afar as her performance was in a setting when everyone was already spread out and I was at a disbelief that out of everyone, she would also be performing.

The next day, I felt like I was on a excitement hangover. There were no alcohol at the party, but I just felt a surge of “surprisity” (surprise electricity, new word I just came up with) because I was surprised of the life outside of my co-workers. And their hidden talents, courage. I met their families, as they met mine, I saw people who were talkers in the project, became silent and introverts became performers. I found out that my manager who never talks about his family had a daughter about to go to college and a 2 year old. I didn’t even know he was married. And I am the type who always asked these question. It was never revealed to me. Until that day.

It is now the day after the celebration and I still feel traces of that day. Spiritually, I would like to think that the event was filled with so much positive spirit celebrating the “festival of light” and the prosperity for the upcoming Indian new year. That everyone in that party came with such excitement and prayers and contributions to the Gods that it spilled over to me. I also want to think that it was a moment where I was able to experience the event with such manifestation with no judgement that it changed my perspective about being in the present moment.

My coach asked me to write about the “Power of Now” and what it means to me about being in the present moment.

The “Power of Now” reminds me of a book and being in the present moment reminds me of how I see myself being where I am, what I am doing right now. This is how I perceived those two statements. As great as it sounds, it does not feel authentic.

I think the most authentic feeling of being in the present moment is how I felt when I was in that Divali party.

Seeing and believing.

Using all of my senses, to see, to listen, to absorb and then to using it to connect to other people. That is seeing and believing. I believe that this is what I have been doing since that day. I could apply it to the simplest thing as seeing my toddler’s cry when she didn’t get what she wanted, and hearing my son’s anger when he is upset that he lost something he enjoyed. Or seeing my wife’s disappointment and sadness when her dad reacted to her request in anger. And then believing that moment by validating her feelings, instead of telling her that is expected. To say that “I understand how you feel” that it is not right, that I know why you are upset and it sucks. It’s about seeing that and believing it.

Being in the moment is not just about seeing things and experiencing it. It’s also about believing it.

I realize that the latter is probably a portion that I have not been able to practice so much. Perhaps it is because I believed that all I had to do was to be grateful for what has happened to me. But it is not enough to just do that. I also need to believe it. I also need to believe that I deserve to experience the moment, believe that it is there for a reason even if I don’t know what the reason is. It’s about believing that the moment is there for me. And that the power to believe it is within you.